By Heart

Today was a rough day for me... most Sundays and nearly all Mondays have been that way since Ty was called Home. I think because Sunday the 25th was the last day I clearly remember him moving... he even had the hiccups that evening. I remember telling Tegan, "Your brother has the hiccups. How silly!" And then Tegan pretended that he had the hiccups (which he gets ALL the time and has since he was in my belly. Heck, the poor kid had them throughout his 20 week ultrasound). And we laughed and laughed and Tegan kept saying, "Bru-dur kick-cups" and then he'd pretend to hiccup again. Then Mondays, of course, are tough because that's the day we "lost" Ty... I'm sure they'll get less painful as time goes by... or at least more tolerable. I have to remind myself that one of the best days of my life was also a Monday. Tegan was born happy and healthy on a Monday. :)

I was in a Hallmark store the other day and was looking through the Sympathy cards... I was frustrated to see that there were only 2 cards for "Loss of a Child" and 1 for "Loss of Grandchild". Then I became almost angry to see that there were 2-3x as many for "Loss of Pet". I thought of my sister, who has taken this pretty hard... there were no cards for loss of niece/nephew. I know that this is all probably because losing a pet is much more common that losing a child, grandchild and nephew/niece, but it still happens. SO many of the cards (the general "sympathy" cards) kept referring to all the wonderful memories that one would have of their loved one and to remember those, the good times, the times that stand out most in one's mind. They made my heart ache, ache even more than it had been because I felt like I didn't have ANY memories of my "lost" loved one.

Tonight as I sit here I know that I DO have memories of my "lost" loved one... my baby boy, my Ty. They just aren't the memories I had expected to have of my child; well, they are, but I expected to have many more. Don't get me wrong, no parent EVER expects or even dreams (if that is even a proper word) for their child to die and considers what memories he or she will have of their child... but once it happens or you learn that your child could face that fate you DO think of those things, the things that you never really realized you had already thought of but you had. I suppose these memories could be the same as the experiences you had anticipated having with your baby, your child. Experiences you were looking forward to having, the anticipations of what was to come. (I realize that I'm using several words over and over, but they say what I'm thinking and I don't feel like finding a thesaurus right now).

For me, the memories I have of my Ty are those of what I felt him do inside of my belly, my womb, the only place Ty ever knew of living on this earth. I remember his kicks and punches, his rolls, his stretches. I remember hearing his heartbeat one last time, almost one week to the HOUR before his little heart, the heart we had thought was so strong, ceased its work. I remember laying on the bed watching the screen at my 20-week ultrasound... ironically, the same ultrasound tech from that day was the one who performed the last ultrasound of my pregnancy, too. I remember marveling over Ty's long and seemingly flexible legs and each of his 10 fingers and 10 toes, watching his little heart beat away, listening to the tech comment on how "beautiful" our child's organs were... Yes, she used the word "beautiful" yet something must have not been so beautiful in the eyes of our Lord... not perfect enough that He decided that He needed to be brought to heaven to be made perfect. I would have been fine with having a little boy with a less-than-perfect body, as long as he was happy... but is that really the truth? NO! If my child's less-than-perfect body was going to cause him life-long pain and suffering then I must retract my statement. I met a girl, a woman (what would I call her? What would I call myself?) whose son died too, right around the time that Ty died. Her son, her Logan was about 22 weeks gestation, and he, too, was stillborn. She recently found out that one of the causes of her son's death was Downs Syndrome, so I assume that means that he had a very severe form. Finding this out made her realize that God was not only thinking of her happiness and well-being but also, and maybe even more so, that of her child, her son, his well-being, his quality of life. God knew that it was also about Logan and that if he were to have survived and been born, that he would not have lived a happy life... that the best thing for Logan was to go Home, to his eternal home then. This has made me, too, realize that God was thinking of Ty, and not just me or Brendan or anyone else, when He decided that Earth was not the place for him, for Ty. He was thinking of Ty's best interests... what was best for him and not me, not us. Though that fact, that knowledge doesn't ease my pain or lessen my sorrow, it does ease my mind and comfort my heart and my soul...

Another thought has been stuck in my brain, too... Why do we always refer to the dead as "lost" or "passed"? Is that supposed to make it hurt less? I suppose I don't even really view my Ty as being dead and I definitely don't believe he is "lost" (though I have said that, that word, in the same sentence as Ty's name) because in my heart I know that he is living, his memory will live in my heart as long as I live and his SOUL is living and will forever. Forever and ever with our Lord, Jesus Christ. Not only is Ty in heaven with so many of our friends and family who have gone before him, but he is in the presence of GOD! Just typing that makes my heart swell with pride. Is that a bad thing to be prideful of? Knowing that my son is forever with his Lord? I suppose it is nice to never have to worry about the eternal fate of my Ty... to worry that I didn't do a good enough job of teaching him about Jesus, his savior, and how only HE is the way, the path to perfect eternal life... as Jesus put it "paradise." Just think, ETERNAL PARADISE! I guess I'm OK with the fact that God took that job, that experience away from me; it's just one less thing I have to worry about in life, at least in relation to Ty. I'll still have to teach Tegan the Way, the Path, but it's comforting to know Ty already knows that fact.

OK, I've done enough venting and soul searching and wondering and remembering for tonight. I'll finish with the one thing I had planned on posting tonight and that is the lyrics to a song that was played at Ty's memorial service. I chose 2 songs to be played at the service and our dear friend Katie, who is an amazingly gifted piano player/pianist, chose 2 more beautiful songs to play, as well. The 3 songs I remember being played, of the 4, are the two I chose "Little Star" and "By Heart", and one that Katie chose, "Jesus Loves Me"... I think, now I'm second guessing that as a song she played. Regardless, "Little Star" seemed so appropriate, so perfect. I call Ty my little angel, but I know, I believe, that when a person dies they do not become an angel as angels have always been just that, angels. I also know that Ty didn't "become a star" but I still sometimes think of him as one, a little ray of light that is far away and seems so small but shines brightly in my life, nonetheless. I even, "coincidentally", read the book "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to my students the afternoon that Ty died. (I realized that before, but WOW, it still seems SO weird to me.) The song "By Heart" (and Little Star) are both by Jim Brickman. At Ty's memorial service Katie just played the piano portion of "By Heart". I never really liked the song too much until all this happened, until my Ty died. Then I pulled out my Jim Brickman piano book and my CD and started searching for a 2nd song as I knew immediately that I wanted "Little Star" to be played... (On another side note: Twinkle Twinkle is also one of Tegan's favorite songs, pretty neat, huh?!) Well, upon looking through the book and listening to the CD I kept going back to "By Heart". I'm sure it was initially written as a love song between a man and a woman, but I thought it was quite appropriate for my situation... for me and my Ty. So, I'll stop rambling and share the lyrics with you. If you google the song you can also listen to a short clip of it... it's truly beautiful!
Enjoy and love to all!
~j

BY HEART
Hold me close, baby please
Tell me anything but that you're gonna leave
As I kiss this fallen tear
I promise you I will be here

Until the stars fall from the sky
Until I find the reason why
And darling as the years go by
Until there's no tears left to cry
'Til the angels close my eyes
And even if we're worlds apart
I'll find my way back to you...
By heart

When you go, I'll stop the clock
I won't ever let this moment stop
Time is stealing you from me
But it can never take this memory

Until the stars fall from the sky
Until I find the reason why
And darling as the years go by
Until there's no tears left to cry
'Til the angels close my eyes
And even if we're worlds apart
I'll find my way back to you...
By heart.

Until the stars fall from the sky
Until I find the reason why
And darling as the years go by
Until there's no tears left to cry
'Til the angels close my eyes
And even if we're worlds apart
I'll find my way back to you...
By heart.

24 Month Stats

Here they are... Tegan's official 24 month measurements and relating statistics in relation to how he compares to the rest of all 2-year olds (or something like that).
NOTE: most of the pics in this post are just random shots that I thought were cute... so they don't necessarily relate to the stories they precede or proceed

Weight: 30.4 lbs = 79%ile
Height is a whopping 36 in (head to heal) = 90%ile
Head Circumference: I don't have the measurements in front of me, but it's [still] 40%ile.

Below is T's meal of choice (well, what was left of it after his birthday party dinner)... the meal of champions: hot dog with "check-up" (as T calls it) and "acroni cheese".
A few stories to accompany the above info:
The weight is a rough estimate because T wouldn't sit still in the seated scale nor stand very long on the "regular" scale. While I was checking in T went off to the "well child" are to play. Upon looking up after about 2 minutes he couldn't see me and because VERY upset thinking I had left him. The poor guy ran straight out the main door (as he now knows how to use the handicap button to open doors) and started running down the hall of the building (thankfully our clinic is inside of the St. Francis Medical Center building, so the main door to the Peds office doesn't lead directly outside). I quickly ran after him and it took 20 minutes of me reassuring him that I wasn't going anywhere before he calmed down.

Then there's Tegan's height... I used to tease (tease who, I don't know, myself, Tegan, Brendan...) that T's height/length was all torso, but his legs are finally starting to grow... Let's just put it this way, for his entire life, T has always outgrown one-piece outfits and footed pj's in the torso area long before the legs of the clothes were too short... shorts have always been like capri pants on the little guy and lastly, for the past few months Tegan has been wearing 2T shirts and 12-18 month pants. His legs are finally too long for all of his 12-18 month pants and in the past month his 18-24 month pants (they fit him for a mere month) have quickly gotten to be too short, too (yes, in just a matter of weeks, really!). So, I've had to make a few trips to the clearance racks and Once Upon A Child as most stores have already clearanced out all of their toddler pants... seriously, it's FEBRUARY, we've still got at least 2 months of snow left if not more!
Have I mentioned Tegan's memory on here? He has the memory of an elephant... they are the ones who "never forget", right? I swear, the kid remembers EVERYTHING! The cutest and most innocent example I have relates to the day of Ty's memorial service. I think I've blogged about how T used to LOVE (or at least enjoy) going to the nursery at church... well, such is no longer the case. As we walk toward the nursery each Sunday he begins crying out "no, No, NO!!!". Our nursery has a beeper/buzzer system (like at restaurants). They buzz you for things such as a dirty diaper, nasty runny nose, getting sick (puking), and crying for 10 minutes straight. We get buzzed EVERY Sunday for the crying reason. It stinks! So, back to the story, we had arranged for a high school girl to watch the kids in the nursery during Ty's memorial service. When it came time to drop them off Tegan was pretty upset, but Gramma knew what to do. She just explained to Tegan that she needed to go potty and she'd come back when she was done (isn't she mean?! hahaha!). Well, that worked and T let her leave with minimal tears. After the service, I was the one to pick up Tegan. He kept telling me something about "Gamma go potty" and I just laughed and explained that Gamma was in the other room. Upon arriving back in the chapel (location of the memorial service) Tegan loudly announced to everyone "Gamma go potty." Everyone just looked at him, as I had, and wondered what he was talking about and laughed it off. Gamma was nearly in tears (from everything else, but also from Tegan's statement). She then explained the REAL story and how that was her way of getting out of the nursery. Yes, after nearly an hour, lots of toys, TV and running around my big dude did not let go of the fact that Gamma went potty and she'd be back soon. HA!!!
Other stories include: Tegan telling his Daddy this morning that he can have "ice cream after dinner" -- something I explained to him 2 weeks ago, "Daddy work hard. Make money" -- not sure where he got that one but if he's not sure where Daddy is that's one of the 2 explanations he'll give me... that or "Daddy go biking." I'll have to get a video of him saying these too, because he gets the most determined, matter-of-fact and convincing look on his face all while nodding and tilting his head to the side just a bit and looking down, just in the slightest (see the photo above for a sample of this face in still-image format). Oh, my big boy! He melts my heart! He will definitely be a life saver, someday, when I'm at the grocery store and have forgotten my list of what to buy... he'll remember it all. HA!
Totally switching subjects:
This past weekend we went to Janesville, WI (about 40 min outside of Madison) to visit Brendan's family and meet our new nephew, Andrew, who was born the day after Ty. I found myself tearing up frequently as Tegan was SO interested in Andrew, wanted to give him endless kisses and hugs, and studied him often. He was just SO enthralled with this little being that he knew as was a baby named Andrew, which he pronounced as "An-dew". He already is a wonderful big brother to Ty. He knows that Ty is part of our family, points out his pictures daily, explains that the baby in them is Ty and has even occasionally also called him "bru-dur". He knows where Ty's room is if you ask and knows that the crib is no longer his bed but rather Ty's bed. So, so sweet and innocent. I just wish Ty was here to enjoy all the lovin' that T has to offer him. I'm sure T will continue to be this amazing of a big brother to the siblings that we hope and pray that God blesses him with. I am so proud of my big-little guy. A heart of gold, I tell you, even though sometimes it needs a little reminding ;)

OK... all for now, I've got more stories to share but this post has grown long enough for tonight. Take care and God bless!
Love to all!
~j

Party Time!!!

Well, I'm finally getting around to it... posting a little detail on T's b'day party, but more importantly pictures from the "big day".

Hm... where to start? Well, I'm not sure if I already explained the party, but we decided to keep it small for one more year before going "big" since, despite T's incredible memory, we highly doubt he'll actually remember his 2nd birthday party for very long. So... maybe I'll just share the "big day" in pictures for now and explain more later.

The Latest News...

I want to begin by thanking you all, again, for all of the support, grace, love and prayers. Life is getting... well, I don't think easier or better are appropriate words, but maybe the phrase more manageable is right. I still cry daily but that's all part of the healing process.
Included in this post are a few more of my favorite photos that we got of Ty... I look at them all daily and cry, but that's good I think. Just wanted to share them with you all.
We have now gotten all of the lab reports back regarding what could have possibly gone wrong that could be detected through my blood, the placenta or the umbilical cord. As I feared, all of the tests came back "normal" or with "normal ranges." SO... Ty's death was not due to: anything I ate or inhaled (bacteria or viruses), a clotting disorder that could caused a clot in the placenta (which is good news for future pregnancies), chromosomal abnormalities that Ty could have had, any sort of trauma to the placenta (such as tearing away from the uterine wall or damage to the organ itself), and the umbilical cord had no knots in it and there didn't seem to have any trauma to it, either(which we already knew and also that it had not been wrapped around Ty's neck).
The one test that came back "normal" but on the lower end of "normal" was a test involving my thyroid. Apparently one of the levels of hormone or chemical produced by my thyroid were low, indicating that I could possibly be hyperthyroid, but pregnancy can also skew these results since the baby's thyroid doesn't begin working to it's full potential until after birth, so it pulls from the mother's thyroid. SO, I'll be getting a full thyroid work-up done at 6 weeks post delivery. Based on the research I've done so far, though, the only time there can be risk to the fetus due to the thyroid is when the mother is HYPOthyroid as opposed to HYPERthyroid. Like I said, the baby causes a higher demand on the thyroid (like it does on the pancreas and the increased need for insulin during pregnancy), so when the thyroid isn't working to it's potential is when there seems to be a higher risk for problems and stillbirth.

So... what does this all mean? Well, as I feared, we will probably never know what happened physically to cause Ty to pass. For me this is SO hard because in a way it makes me feel like it HAD to have been something that I did... something like unknowingly sleep on my back and cause limited blood flow to Ty that caused fatal damage to his body (such as decreased oxygen flow to the brain and organs). I worried that it was from Tegan climbing all over me, but all indications are that it was NOT from any physical trauma, so that eases my mind.
Still, it has been outrageously hard for me to not blame myself for not noticing Ty's lack of movement earlier in the day... I keep telling myself that I need to just accept the fact that whatever happened was out of my control and that there's nothing I could have done... that this is all part of God's plan and I need to accept this and be at peace with the fact that my little baby is safe in the arms of his Lord and Savior for the rest of eternity, but to be honest I am beyond jealous of my gracious God. In one respect I know that jealousy is wrong and I should be thankful for all of the blessings I have been given, but I also know in my heart that if I wasn't feeling this jealousy something would be wrong. I am a mother and it's perfectly normal for me to be jealous and to want to have my baby here in my arms.
I just ask that you keep praying for Brendan, Tegan and I. That you pray for peace in my heart and mind; that I allow myself to accept the reality and allow myself to continue to grow from this, to become a better and stronger person from this experience. Thank you so very much, again, for all of the support you have all provided us! Take care, God bless...
All for now...
~j

Happy Birthday to Tegan!!!

Our baby, our first baby, our big-little boy is 2 years old! I have been flooded with memories of that day all morning. The memories of waking up at 4:30am with excruciating labor pains, calling the midwife to tell her "it's time", driving to the hospital, walking from the car to the hospital doors when it was -20F, laboring through the pain until the epidural came at 9:30, pushing for 2 1/2 hours starting at 11:45am, and, finally, the rush of emotions when he was born at 2:11pm. And then there are memories of all sorts of milestones and events over the past 2 years that have made Tegan's life so VERY, VERY precious and special to all who have encountered him.

Happy Birthday to my Ray of Sunshine, my Tegan! I love you more and more every day!!! May God continue to bless you with health and happiness, and shower you with the love that only He can provide!!!

~mommy

Thank You

Dear All,
I just wanted to thank everyone for their amazing support of Brendan, Tegan, our families and I during these past several days and those to come. Words cannot express how deeply hurt, confused, sad, and beyond that we are, but similarly how deeply grateful we are for everything everyone has said and done.

We really haven't responded individually to very many emails, messages, texts, and voicemails, but know that they have all been read/heard and are SO appreciated! The outpouring of love and prayers is amazing. I am so lost for words, so please just know that we thank you all from the bottom of our hearts!

We know that this is all part of God's great plan and that we should continue to praise and glorify Him, but it is so hard to understand why so much hurt and suffering is a part of that plan and how any good can come out of such suffering. Eventually we will grow, together and individually, from this experience and we will be better people for surviving it, but it's hard to see that far into the future. So, too, God has probably done this to, somehow, save us from further pain down the road... again, hard to understand and foresee how.

Ty is in a better place, a place where there are no tears, no pain, and no suffering. He has looked into the eyes of our Lord, Jesus Christ, and seen pure and true love. Ty has felt His embrace and kiss. How amazing life must be for him?! Knowing this fact brings me great peace, though I wish Ty could have been given the gift of looking into my eyes and me the gift of looking into his... for him to feel the warmth of my embrace and the touch of my kiss on his face and me feel the warmth of his breath on my cheek... but I know that these gifts will come when I, too, am called Home.

Thank you again, and please keep sending those mighty prayers up to our Lord Jesus to help with our healing. God bless you and those you love!!!
~jenn & family

Our Angel

While at the hospital we were offered a photo shoot with Cindy of Prominence Photography, a photographer who also does work for Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, a non-profit organization that offers photography services to families whose infant has passed or will soon. To be honest, at first I was grossed out by the idea of having the body of my baby photographed after his death, but I knew that if I didn't take advantage of this opportunity I would probably regret it for the rest of my life. Thank GOD I trusted my instincts, because I can't imagine not having these and more photos of Ty. None of them match what is in my (or Brendan's) memory, but they are surely helping me cope, even though they make me cry every time I look at them.

Presenting, Ty Gary Moore... the little angel I was blessed to hold in my arms, but forced to say good-bye to... I know I will get to hold him again someday, but that knowledge doesn't ease the pain.

Saying Good-Bye For Now...

Thank you to everyone for their thoughts, prayers and kind words. You will never know what your comfort means to us!
All for now...
~jenn, brendan & tegan

A New Angel Is Among Us

I'm going to keep this short as I will soon be blinded by my tears.

Our little angel, Ty Gary Moore, was called to his eternal home by our Heavenly Father sometime yesterday afternoon. He was born into our world this morning at 8:15 weighing 4 pounds 3.5 ounces and measuring 18.5 inches in length. He is a beautiful boy and we will miss him dearly. We do not know what happened and probably will not for a long while if ever...

All that we ask is that you keep us and our families in your thoughts and prayers and give your little ones extra lovin'!!!

love to all!
~jenn, brendan and tegan

Pregnancy Update: 33 Weeks

Well, I'm officially 33 weeks along (baby is 31 weeks gestational age... if you're confused, Google it). I had my last monthly check-up on Monday and here are the stats:

My weight was/is up 7 pounds from a month ago! (needless to say I was in shock, despite the fact that the last month included Christmas cookies)... then came the belly measurement.

I'm measuring at 35 weeks (not the 33 that I really am) so that is exciting for me, assuming it doesn't mean that I have a huge baby in there. I learned that apparently I've been measuring 1-2 weeks ahead the entire pregnancy, so that was news to me.

Baby's heartrate was 136, nice and strong. My midwife commented that Baby must be sleeping... then he performed some acrobatics. I explained that we've got an athlete in there :)

Baby is head down but has not dropped, which is a good thing because that usually happens shortly before labor begins, especially with 2nd+ pregnancies.

I think that's it... HAPPY WEDNESDAY!
~jenn

Phrase of the Month: NO WAY!!!!

Shortly before a "No Way!" outburst

If only you could experience the true wrath of T's tantrums! WOW! When you usually hear the phrase "No, way" you think of someone being sarcastic or saying it with humor, as in "no way, Jose". Well, that is NOT the case at all with Tegan. His "no way" is more of a screeching, screaming "No WAAAAAY!" with some terrible fire in his eyes! However, after saying that I must admit that it is SO hard for Brendan and I not to start laughing at T when he does this because it's usually in response to us announcing bedtime. :) I've explained to Tegan that this is not a nice way of talking and it is not acceptable in our house. He is now slowly transforming the phrase to something a less harsh, but still funny... it's now "NO! Not me." Still, it's just too funny to see.

Browsing the "choo-choo" catalog... a daily activity :)

Another experience of "No way!" for me occurred this morning. I was in the bathroom and hear what sounds like Tegan choking and gagging. I quickly make my way out to find T (and the couch) COVERED in vomit from the neck down. At first I just figured he had choked on a piece of cereal from his breakfast (he usually eats dry cereal on the couch for breakfast while watching Little Einsteins). So, I comfort him, tell him all is OK and that Mommy is here... I strip his PJ's off, wipe him down and get him changed into his clothes for the day thinking he's fine to go to daycare. I then give T another kiss, plop him back down on the couch, grab his empty juice cup and head to the kitchen to fill it with some water. Seconds later T appears. I explain that I'm filling his cup with water and to wait just a minute and the next thing I know vomit is shooting from his mouth across the kitchen floor. 2 thoughts rush through my head: 1) It wasn't choking that happened while I was in the bathroom, it was T REALLY getting sick and 2) thank GOD this 2nd round is on the kitchen floor... SO much easier to clean up! (is that a selfish thought?). Well, after a few more 'rounds in the kitchen I got T stripped down, again, and back into a pair of PJ's. Well, after about, OH, 30 calls to Brendan's call I finally got a hold of him (he was at hockey) and was granted another blessing: he could/would stay home with T while I went to work.

Baking with Mommy

OK, so that was a LOOONG story. The happy ending is that T's feeling oodles better (even insisted on grilled cheese for lunch). And, after a nearly 1 hour fight at bedtime last night I expected the worst tonight and was blessed with a 30 second whimper after I said goodnight the FIRST time tonight! YAY!!!

Tegan's FAVORITE thing in the world: B-U-T-T-O-N-S!!!

Hm... what else is new? Brendan's brother Ben visited for the weekend. Needless to say, Tegan LOVED it! Uncle Ben got to read bedtime books both nights he was here. I even snapped a few pictures:
On the pregnancy front: I will be 32 weeks along tomorrow... only 5 weeks to go until full term and 8 weeks until my due date. I can't believe it's nearly over and couldn't be more excited! I'm sure as soon as Baby comes I'll miss being pregnant and having that connection that only a mother and child can have during pregnancy, but I'm excited to sleep ANYWAY I want (side, back or stomach!) I wake up nightly with aching hips from having to always sleep on my side. I'm also excited to no longer wear pants multiple inches above my belly button and only a few inches below my, um... chest. :)

As far as names go, we've got 2 we really like but I think we'll just wait until Baby arrives to pick THE one. The 2 we are constantly going back to are Ty and Camden (Cam for short).

Looking oh-so innocent

Chillin' on the couch w/Daddy

OK, I'm tired and need some "brain rest" time (i.e. veg-out time in front of the TV). Love to all!
~j
p.s. enjoy the latest family photo... we don't get them often! :)

WAAAAAY Over Due

Yup... that's what this post is, way over due (though there are days that I feel like that's what this baby is even though I've got 10 weeks to go). I guess it's become a bit routine lately, posting every few weeks instead of every week. We've just been busy with work, traveling, Tegan, working, etc. I don't even know where to begin!

Hm... well, as my last "post" noted, Brendan and I celebrated 5 years of marriage on Saturday and even though our original plans changed (several times) we did have a nice day together. Tegan was SO nice to us and slept through the night Friday night, so that alone was a gift in my eyes. Thanks, Buddy! Then, being that we were at G'amma and Papa Moore's house, we had multiple baby-sitters so we basically had a day free from having to keep a watchful eye on the big T at all times. :) We made a mid-morning trip to "The Shop" to make a return and we ended up leaving with a new "diaper bag", though it wasn't originally intended to be that by it's designers I'm sure. Then we spent much of the afternoon doing... well... not too much at all. Brendan spun on the bike and I tried to nap, though without success. Still, it was nice to have the option. Finally, around 6pm or so we went to The Canadian Honker for a relaxing, but not too fancy, dinner.

OK.. I know, I know. You don't log on to this thing to hear about what Brendan and I are up to, do you? No, you log on to see what the Big Man (T) and his future side-kick are doing. Well, let's see what I can tell you. Tegan is becoming more and more independent daily. I don't think I ever realized how sly and sneaky nearly 2 year olds could be until I had one of my own. Tegan definitely has hiding spots that he goes to when he does something that he knows he's not supposed to OR when he's avoiding doing something he doesn't want to do. Currently these locations are between the love seat and the fake tree in our main floor living room. He'll go there to hide AND to do his business, HA! The other main spot he has is behind the rocking chair/glider in his bedroom when it's time for pj's and bedtime. I'll have to try and get a pic of him hiding sometime, because it's cute as can be as I think T doesn't realize yet that even when he can't see you, you can still see him (kind of like the ostrich hiding his head in the sand image we see in cartoons).

T has a few new sayings that he uses a lot are pretty cute too. One of these is "NO, not me!" (spoken in a very cute and innocent voice) and usually in response to questions such as "Did you go poop/make stinks?" or "Are you hungry/need breakfast/lunch/dinner?" Another one is his way of calling himself "Captain Tegan"... it usually comes out something like "Cat-nin Teenan". That one started when he made off into the kitchen and living room sans a diaper one night after his bath. I don't know where I came up with the nick-name but I did and called him that and it just tickled his funny bone, I guess. He also has enjoyed singing a version, HIS version, of ONE holiday song this year. It goes something like this (in his mind), "Jingle bells, jingle bells... ALLLLL-WAAAAY!" He enjoyed serenading ALL withing earshot (which is a pretty big area when he gets to the "ALL-WAY" part) at our Super Target last week. Thankfully, though, all around us (that I could see) were in good spirits and seemed to find the song beautiful. ;)

OK... one more update and then I'll be done for tonight and continue tomorrow or Wednesday. Last Tuesday brought with it our daycare Christmas party. We were curious to see how T would react to Santa as I think he wasn't too excited about him last year. Well, Mr. Social was MORE than friendly when Santa arrived and was MORE than upset when the other kids didn't want him to basically be Santa's "helper" and give ALL the presents BACK to Santa after he had handed them out. HA!

Tegan showing Santa his juice box :)

It was a sight to see and it gave all us adults a good chuckle to say the least. Thankfully the tears from T were more from having the other kids try to take their gifts back and not from being freaked out by the big guy in red. :)

Tegan Explaining to Santa that he's holding a present
Tegan ready to take the present and OPEN IT!

OH, cute encounter with another parent at our daycare during the Christmas party. A preface is that this man and his wife have pretty, um... subdued children, for example, unlike Tegan they usually walk to their destinations. Well, the conversation went something like this:
Father: "So, do you know what you're having?"
Me: "Yup, another boy."
Father: [whose son is sitting quietly on his lap and is the same age as T] Looks over to Tegan, who is running like a MAD MAN in circles around the room and laughing to the point of breathlessness, & looks back at me. "WOW! You're really going to have your hands full aren't you?!"
Me: "HA!"

BABY... I suppose you want an update on Baby, too. Well, we are still tossing around a few names, so nothing is set yet, and I have the feeling that we'll need to see this little guy in person before the final decision is made. At last check his heart rate was in the mid 140's, so getting slower, which Daddy is VERY excited about. We figure it's from hitting the [bike] trainer so much in there... it sure feels like he's training for something on most days, though I'd argue that it's gymnastics or something that involves lots of turns and spins. :) I've been having TONS of Braxton Hicks contractions lately. I've been trying to stay super hydrated, but that also causes the need to use the restroom ALL THE TIME so I've been staying hydrated but not overly-so. Thankfully nothing painful, just sometimes takes my breath away and becomes uncomfortable. Speaking of, there's one now...

All for now, more to come.
Love to all!
~j

5 Years Ago Today!

Happy Anniversary to my love! I can't believe how fast it's gone and I can't wait to see what the next 5 years brings to us! (this isn't my favorite picture, but our wedding pics aren't downloaded to the computer...)

We Wish You A Merry Christmas!!!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Another Tegan...

Ultrasound Pic vs Tegan at 2 weeks old

I wanna start with an apology... I know I didn't post this week. It's been a crazy one for me with conferences 3 of the 5 work days and then I woke up feeling extremely ill this morning, "ordered" a sub (we use an online sub system) and basically slept the day away. This is just a quick update on Baby Boy Moore:

So, we had our 2nd ultrasound today; a follow up to the first as Baby Boy had a slightly enlarged/dilated kidney. All is back to normal as far as kidney size, so our prayers were answered. We even got some more "3D" pics of the little guy and we think he looks just like T-go did when he was born... minus a little facial fat, what do you think? We don't have a scanner at home, so the best I could do was take pictures of the images... enjoy!

Belly Pic Update

Here's me at just over 26 weeks along... my hair looks funny but it's really not my hair, it's a wreath hanging on the door behind me. HA! Also included are a few pics of T and I having fun :)
In this next one Tegan is singing the song he made up about Thomas [the Tank Engine]. It goes like this, "La-la-la, la-la-la, Tho-mas!" It's too cute when he sings it. :)

Sleep update, too: Tegan has slept through the night EVERY night this week! What an awesome answer to prayers! YAY!!!

Hope you're doing well and staying warm (it's COLD here!). Love to all!
~j