Yeah... the title is a bit negative... but it's so darn true. The older I get the faster time goes and with that the faster my children grow and get older (profound, I know, right?!). But time is really ripping my heart apart a lot lately and I'm doing so much to try to push that pain away. How are my kids so big?!
Oh Casey!
I cannot believe that my little girl is THREE AND A HALF years old. WHAT?! How did that happen? I swear I was just rocking in the glider, nursing my itty, bitty 37 week gestation sub 6 pound baby.
I hardly even remember her learning how to crawl and walk! AHHHH!!!!! AND, we are all of 3 years, 8 months and 29 days old and she has the temper and mannerisms of a 13 year old girl. If I didn't know better I'd think the girl was already PMSing. Hahaha - maybe we'll get this out of the way now so that when she is 13 she'll be sweet and charming.
She LOVES baking with Mommy, playing in the sandbox with big brother Tegan (her favorite big brother because Ty doesn't play with her - her reasoning, not mine), singing like Ariel and Rapumzel, growing her hair "so, so long" and being in her underwear.
She wakes up most mornings with a dry pull-up because she's "such a big girl" but insists on still wearing them because "I'm still kind of little, Mommy, and I don't want to accidentally pee in my underwear even just a little by accident when I'm sleeping."
But I could watch her sleep all night... her little bum in the air with her knees curled under her and face on the bed (or floor). Yes, she still often sleeps in the same positions that she did as a newborn
He's signed up for flag football but only so-so interested. He love science and engineering and robots and all things like that.
Even was in a science camp this summer and built a solution to Singapore's overpopulation problem.
He's a month into 1st grade and I am struggling as a teacher/mom that he does not really enjoy reading TO me.
He loves writing and using inventive spelling and is SO very good at it, but when it comes to reading, he still has minimal interest. Don't get me wrong, when he puts forth the effort he can read quite well, but still doesn't have much of an interest. Math is another one of his favorite things. Up until school started he loved for us to write up a page of one and two-digit addition and subtraction problems. Now that there's almost nightly math homework, the requests for those has pretty much stopped.
Lastly there's Ty - he'd be in preschool this year, likely with the same teacher that Tegan had (Teacher Mary Olson) and loving it because she is the most amazing preschool teacher. He would likely be loving trains and matchbox cars and nerf guns and, of course, all of the toys that Tegan loves because that's how little brothers are - they love whatever their big brother loves. He is on my mind daily... almost never NOT on my mind. Is that bad? Does that mean that I'm not moving on? Does that make me depressed? I want it all. I want him back but I want Casey still here, too... which wouldn't be so had he lived.
School is tough this year. My morning class, especially, has a handful of kids that really test me from the minute they arrive to the minute I get them on the bus. It scares me that each year there are more and more kids coming into kindergarten that have never been held accountable for anything, never had consequences, never heard the word "no" or never had parents follow through after saying "no". Some of these kids think that they are in charge and have no respect for their teachers, parents, peers, etc. and it breaks my heart because I don't want to believe that their parents let them become like this on purpose. No parent thinks, "Hey, I want my child to grow up being disrespectful and dishonest and irresponsible." So what do I do? I hold them in my heart, all of them, all of my kids, all of my students, honest and sweet and respectful and caring and loving and hard working and the opposite and those in the middle. I pray for them at night, hug and/or high five them when they arrive, smile and remind them all that it's up to them to make it a great day. It's their choice - and it might not be hard and they might not love all of the day and might even really not like an activity here or there but if they stick with it I DO try to make it all fun and exc
iting and engaging in the end. I email and call parents with the good and the bad, I write weekly newsletters sharing the good and reminders of how to make the tough less frequent. I'm firm and strict and hold high expectations and am disappointed when my students don't live up to them because I know that they CAN and I tell them that.
Thanks for listening and supporting and understanding and loving me through it all...
~j
Tegan - oh, Tegan... When he was born he stole my heart all over again.
He loves writing and using inventive spelling and is SO very good at it, but when it comes to reading, he still has minimal interest. Don't get me wrong, when he puts forth the effort he can read quite well, but still doesn't have much of an interest. Math is another one of his favorite things. Up until school started he loved for us to write up a page of one and two-digit addition and subtraction problems. Now that there's almost nightly math homework, the requests for those has pretty much stopped.
Lastly there's Ty - he'd be in preschool this year, likely with the same teacher that Tegan had (Teacher Mary Olson) and loving it because she is the most amazing preschool teacher. He would likely be loving trains and matchbox cars and nerf guns and, of course, all of the toys that Tegan loves because that's how little brothers are - they love whatever their big brother loves. He is on my mind daily... almost never NOT on my mind. Is that bad? Does that mean that I'm not moving on? Does that make me depressed? I want it all. I want him back but I want Casey still here, too... which wouldn't be so had he lived.
School is tough this year. My morning class, especially, has a handful of kids that really test me from the minute they arrive to the minute I get them on the bus. It scares me that each year there are more and more kids coming into kindergarten that have never been held accountable for anything, never had consequences, never heard the word "no" or never had parents follow through after saying "no". Some of these kids think that they are in charge and have no respect for their teachers, parents, peers, etc. and it breaks my heart because I don't want to believe that their parents let them become like this on purpose. No parent thinks, "Hey, I want my child to grow up being disrespectful and dishonest and irresponsible." So what do I do? I hold them in my heart, all of them, all of my kids, all of my students, honest and sweet and respectful and caring and loving and hard working and the opposite and those in the middle. I pray for them at night, hug and/or high five them when they arrive, smile and remind them all that it's up to them to make it a great day. It's their choice - and it might not be hard and they might not love all of the day and might even really not like an activity here or there but if they stick with it I DO try to make it all fun and exc
iting and engaging in the end. I email and call parents with the good and the bad, I write weekly newsletters sharing the good and reminders of how to make the tough less frequent. I'm firm and strict and hold high expectations and am disappointed when my students don't live up to them because I know that they CAN and I tell them that.
Thanks for listening and supporting and understanding and loving me through it all...
~j
