Rollin' Over!

She did it!


Casey rolled over for the first time this week and I saw it!

Here's C shortly after the event - I turned her back over in hopes that she'd repeat the acrobatics but she was too tired. Rolling over is hard work!

You might not think that's too exciting but I think it is as I was not there to see when T first rolled over - I was back at work and my mom was the one to get to witness that milestone experience. It was such a shock, too (Casey's rolling over, that is). Even though she used to l-o-v-e tummy time (when she was still a tiny little pun'kin) Miss C now generally does not like it. Tegan extremely disliked tummy time, too. The doc said it was probably because he was such a big baby and there was so much weight on his tum-tum during tummy time that it was not comfortable. I think C has gotten to that point - the point of being a bit on the rolie-polie side :) (I weighed her the other day and she was 14+ pounds!)

Look at those eyes - wow! As with Tegan, we're in trouble!

Anyway, back to why it was a surprise. Like I was saying, C doesn't generally like tummy time and when I do put her on her tummy she usually arches her back, stiffens her arms and keeps them at her sides and cries. After a few minutes she gives up on the arching her back and just lets her head rest on the floor, sometimes even face flat down. Plus, she frequently spits up during TT (tummy time) and then gets it all over her face... So, like I said, not a fun time for her. Well, on this day (I already forget but I think it was on Tuesday) instead of doing all of the above described she put her arms out in front of herself and pushed her chest up off the ground using them [her arms] and even smiled! Then after a minute or so she started pushing more with her left arm and then she slowly rolled over!


Trust me, it was SO neat to see! Though, at the same time it was a bit sad because it is just another sign that Casey is growing up. Yes, I know. She's not even 4 months old yet, but I still picture her as my little sub 6 pound preterm blessing.


Alright - that's all for tonight. I've hardly seen my hubby tonight so I'm gonna go lounge on the couch with him before we go n'night.


Take care & Love to all!
~j

Big Fat Tears

Well, I did it.

I don't know the last time I truly let myself do it... but in the wee hours of the morning I let it happen.

I cried for Ty.

Big, fat, soak your pillow alligator tears.

My body shook, I could hardly catch my breath at times...

You might have even called it weeping.

Thankfully Brendan was there and woke up and held me and just let me cry. Thank you, Sweetie! You don't know how important that embrace was!

I was up feeding Casey and after putting her back down and while waiting for her to return to her slumber I decided to catch up on friends' blogs and then...

BAM!

It hit me - hard.

MY baby is in heaven and I am not. My child went to his eternal home before me. That's not supposed to happen!

I am now living a life that I describe as bittersweet...
It's bitter - my baby died and I don't even know why.
My 3 year old questions death and why things die on almost a daily basis. He always asks why someone or something died (like Ty, Brendan's grandpa, an animal on the side of the road, etc.) He understands, I think, that it means that whoever died is not living like we do and will be that way forever. Whenever he hears that someone or something died or is dead he explains how Daddy's (Brendan's) papa died and went to heaven to live with Jesus just like Ty. In his eyes everyone and everything that dies is goes to be with Jesus - oh my dear Tegan, how I wish that was the case. Someday you will better understand.

Then there's the sweet - I've got a beautiful, precious, amazing little baby girl that I probably wouldn't have if Ty had not gone to be with Jesus. My daughter, Casey Devin, is a girl whose smile lights up the room, who is such a mama's girl but truly gives her biggest smiles to her daddy and big brother... the brother that is here on this side of heaven. There's that bitter again, the fact that Casey will grow up with only one of her big brother's here to protect her and play with her and fight with her and tease her and do all the things that big brothers do. Tegan will live up to the challenge of having to do it all himself - that I'm sure of. And there's the sweet again - Tegan. He is a stink-pot (as Brendan said about him just yesterday) but he has the most tender, loving soul.

And that's where I will stop... with the sweet - as it makes my heart fill with joy and love and all the good things that God gives us through our children.

Love to all!
~j

Where to Begin???

As has become habit it's been a long time between "real" posts other than Teganisms and random pics. So in looking back have I really not posted much other than the above mentioned since the beginning of March?! WOW! I guess I'll briefly update on Tegan today so as to not make this a novel of a post and include a nice amount of pics for you visual learners. :)

Tegan... The kid has definitely moved from the Terrible Two's into the... what would you call them... Thrashing Threes? Whatever you call them they are like the 2's but worse. UGH! I mean look at those eyes - you can just see him plotting his next mischievous adventure. Hopefully it's a boy thing, that's all I have to say. HA! I'll stop there - at least as far as negative posting goes because T really is a sweetheart. Yes, he can really be a handful and wears my patience thin daily but he also does so much that warms my heart to its very core and beyond. The kid is just so aware of his feelings and emotions and wears them all on his sleeve letting them rub off on all around him (in a good way, of course). I don't know how many times he tells me that he loves me every day. I hear the phrase, "Mom, I just want you!" daily, too, and even though it's usually when I'm busy with dinner or cleaning or nursing or diapering or something it still means so much. The same goes for T's love for his daddy, too. He cries when Brendan leaves for work most days... especially lately with how early B has to leave and how late he gets home due to his extra long commute from the 101 and 41 bridges across the MN River being closed. Hopefully they'll open soon and we can all get more Daddy/Brendan time.

For Easter we spent the weekend in Rochester. My parents and sister also joined us all for dinner on Saturday (worked better for us all to do our big meal on Saturday rather than Sunday). The kids did great (aside from Tegan being overwhelmed at first and throwing a fit) - and the Easter bunny even caught wind of our early celebration and hid the Easter eggs a day early for us. Well, at least that's what we wanted the kids to think, but when we asked Tegan who hid all the eggs he quickly replied with, "Daddy and Uncle Joe!" However, it was the Easter bunny who delivered T's Easter present (yes, he got an Easter present - the kid is spoiled, I know!) We (B and T) decided that it was time that T get a bike with "pedals and brakes" (as Tegan calls it). He also wanted it to be red like Daddy's, so Daddy put in a call to the "Easter Bunny" (who the general public knows as Rochester Cycling and Fitness) regarding a red bike with pedals and brakes and E.B. reserved a red and black Trek 16" boys bike. I had to laugh, though. T was super excited when he saw the bike and then within 5 min it was no longer exciting and he was back to playing with the Barbie Jeep. HA!!!

Following church on Sunday I insisted that we get a family picture... well, these are what we got. I'm sure that if we somehow meshed the 3 together we'd have a pretty decent pic (other than T pouting throughout all 3).
Sunday also brought egg coloring (yeah, we did it kinda backwards this year). And boy-oh-boy did Tegan ever get into that! I'll just let the pictures do the explaining on this one. :)




The past 2 days have been not quite as fun. T has been battling a nasty fever that has proven to require Tylenol AND Motrin to cool it down. The highest so far has been 102.8. We finally went into the pediatrician's office today because an hour after Tylenol his temp had gone up and not down. Countless tears, a few books and some real life reenactments of "The Berenstain Bears Go to the Doctor" later a strep test showed that T probably just has a no fun virus that just needs to run its course. For his braveness in getting his throat swabbed Tegan got an Arctic Blast from Dairy Queen and a sprinkle doughnut from the "Doughnut Store" a.k.a. Kwik Trip. OK, so the kid was really clueless what it meant to have his throat tickled so maybe he wasn't so brave in that area, but he did take it like a man until the test was done and then he was upset about how it felt - who wouldn't get upset. Strep throat tests SUCK! So the doughnut was definitely deserved and the Arctic Blast (basically a slushy) was my attempt to get some more hydration into the kid. Here's hoping and praying that he's able to settle down and actually get some good sleep tonight. He was cashed out on the couch snoring like a grandpa by 6:30 last night and didn't get a nap today due to the time of his doc appointment.

OK - how's that for an update? I know it basically only covers the past week or so, but it's better than nothing. I do have pics from one of our library visits I can share another time, too.

Love to all!!!
~j